Slowly Adjusting

I've been keeping track of my meals I eat daily and how much water I've been drinking and what not (I use http://www.sparkpeople.com/ which is a great site!).  The water thing wasn't that big of a change because I've always drank a lot during work so now I'm just getting used to drinking it at home (our Brita filter thing has been amazing for this...I like cold water).  I went grocery shopping for myself for once...got some different fruits that I normally wouldn't get (pears and peaches), and had our dinners all planned out so I knew exactly what I needed to get.  And tried not to stray to far away from that.  I'm horrible at snacking so I got some foods that I could snack on that were much healthier for me!  I've also been taking a glass of water with some apple cider vinegar mixed in....now this is probably my only weird diet thing I'm doing...but it's not just for weight loss (it says that may help decrease your appetite a little before you eat), but it's also says it's good for your skin and health in general.  I got the raw unfiltered stuff so it's kind of potent stuff lol.  But I just plug my nose and drink at least 2 glasses of it throughout the day.  If you want go ahead and look it up on google and see whatcha think!  Anyways...well the hubby just brought some lunch home!  Yay :) I'll write more later!

And so it starts :)

That's right.  This morning I got up at 9:00 (got to sleep in for a little while) and got right up and went out and ran 3 miles :)  OUTSIDE.  In the middle of Feburary.  In Minnesota. Loved it!  Had to get used to breathing in the cold air but it felt so gooood to be outside exercising.  I thought I was going to get a little cold just wearing a sweatshirt but turned out I'm glad I didn't add on anymore layers.  Learned I tend to run farther before I eat breakfast in the AM.  Which is going to be easy for me on the weekends...not so much on the weekdays..so we'll have to come up with another solution. 

So anyway I feel refreshed and ready for the day.  Also told Riley my weight loss plan..again lol.  But he's supportive and will hopefully help me out a little.  It's been tough because he wants to ADD weight..and I want to lose.  So sometimes our nutritional needs are pretty different.  We'll make it work though :)  Anyway here's what my breakfast looks like after my great morning run :)

Old fashioned oatmeal (so much better made on the stove), sliced up apple, and brown sugar :) YUM

Here we go again...blah

Today is the day I'm just fed up.  Fed up with this whole losing weight thing.  I'm so tired of starting over alllll the time.  I need to work on my self control and self confidence majorly!  I'm tired of walking around the mall and not looking up at anyone because I'm embarrassed of myself.  I want to be able to buy cute, girly clothes that actually fit me!  I'm tired of being scared to try on clothes and worry about stuff fitting or not.  I'm tired of feeling like crap about myself everyday.  I'm just tired. 

I really need to motivate myself yet again.  It's getting close to summer and warm weather and I can't hide behind my sweatshirts and long sleeves any longer.  I want to be able to wear shorts! I haven't for years because I don't like the way my legs look.  I'm ready to have confidence in myself. 

So from this day on..I'm going to ACHIEVE my goals FINALLY.  I'm determined because I don't deserve to feel this way about myself.  Every little step now is going to be towards the right direction!  Wish me luck!